"It's good to hear your voice, Juliana."

"Feeling isn't quite mutual."

I could feel him shift uncomfortably, but he didn't face me. My shadow loomed over him as I walked towards the dresser. I was glad I had hacked into the sensors and lights before even coming inside. He wouldn't have wanted to see my face, or what was left of it.

"He looks nice in this vid, if a bit scruffy," I paused as the soft hum of the electronics inside the vid-frame lit up the screen, playing a video of Richard and his husband someplace warm.

"You both look happy," it felt heavy in my hand as I turned it over, "Recent?"

"Uh, yeah? Month or so ago?" his voice trailed off slightly, I could almost hear him pouring over his memories. I didn't miss that. Having everything neatly stored where I could access it, or locking it away from myself, was truly a blessing.

"Can I keep it?"

"Why?" he asked.

"I'm not coming back."

The springs of the mattress objected as he got up and I raised my gun in response, eyes still on the vid. I heard his scream catch in his throat.

"You can't change my mind, Richard."

"Damn it Juliana, first you go missing for seven years. Seven years! I...we all thought you died."

He paused; I heard his jaw lock as he struggled to find the words. It took him a few moments to calm down, each breath rippling with anger.

"When you do come back, you've gotten all kinds of implants, cybernetics, whatever. Which, by the way, is really weird, but I wasn't going to question. You stay for a few months, we catch up, I invite you to my wedding, and you leave the day of. Without so much as a word! Then you come back six months later, pointing a gun at me, stating you're never coming back?"

Years ago his words might have evoked some kind of response, but Juliana, that Juliana, was long dead. I thought back to the mire, where I am forced to put the bodies. Their hands seeming to grasp at me as I heave them into the muck. The almost deafening thud, swoosh, and slurp, as if the mire itself was accepting the sacrifice. Of course, that's exactly what it was doing even if I didn't know it at first. I knew now though.

You don't mess with the old gods, even if you're mostly machinery. In some cases especially if you're mostly machinery.

Remembering the summer before I was “recruited”, I wasn't happy, but I wasn't as awful as I had been. Was I eighteen? Nineteen? How old was I now? I opened the folder in my memory that stored that year. Nineteen at the time and much older now. Strange how years didn't seem to matter too much when you've reached a certain point.

My eyes flicked back to the vid still in my grasp, "You haven't aged gracefully."

"You probably haven't even aged at all," there was a certain venom to his tone that receded into pity, "I'm--sorry. I just don't understand."

Lowering the gun I finally turned to look at him, aside from looking like I had just woken him up, he seemed to be in good health. A smile crept onto my lips, but I squashed my feelings as quickly as they'd come up. Don't get soft on me now.

"I don't need you to understand. To be honest, I'm a little confused as to why I even came back. Old memories, old habits, y'know?"

"Jules..."

"Don't. I'm not coming back and don't you dare come looking for me."

Opening up the chassis in my arm I pulled out a small, but fresh red peony and placed it where the vid-frame used to be.

"How did you get that? I haven't seen one..."

Any anger he had dissipated into wonder as I moved back into the shadows, watching him get up and hypnotically move to view the flower. Artificial moonlight danced off it's petals before he reached out to touch it. His trance gave me more than enough time to slip out.

"They...they don't allow you to grow flowers anymore. How did you?" He turned and spoke to no one.

Looking through the security cam in my visor I watched him pick up the peony and mouth the words "Thank you."


"Goodbye, brother," I whispered, sealing the door and heading back out into the smog-laden streets. Pulling up my internal chronometer I frowned, it was time to make another sacrifice.